Today. Today I want to throw my hands up. Throw in the towel. Lie down on the floor and throw a temper tantrum. Curl up in a ball under the covers and sleep. *sigh* . . . . . . I figured it would be more constructive though, if I wrote it out.
This has seriously been the longest week and a half. Munchkin started with a cold last Tuesday. It was a doozy. Friday or Saturday, Peanut started with it too (again, a doozy). He was/is also teething again and working on walking, climbing and lots of “talking”. I have not gotten a decent (notice I don’t say good) nights sleep in a week and a half. I am so very tired. I am so very touched out. Even at this moment, this moment that I am trying to claim as mine, Munchkin is on one side of me and Peanut is asleep on the boob. I so need an hour or two that are mine. Just me. By myself. I need to regroup. I am not the mama that my boys need me to be right now.
It has been whine, and cry and hold me and wear me and snuggle me and nurse me. I want this, no wait, I want this instead. Oh wait I changed my mind again. I need this. I NEED THIS NOW!!!!. And of course there is hardly any sleeping going on. That only makes the cranky, crankier.
I tell Hubby that I want to sleep in or I need a break. He doesn’t get it. He can just go about his business. He can hole himself up in the office with his lunch and a movie. He can leave the house without children, whenever he wants. How is this fair. I am so burnt out right now. He doesn’t see it, understand it, I don’t know what. I don’t think I can be any more straight forward in my requests for a few minutes to regain my sanity. Maybe if he reads this (Are you reading this oh hubby of mine?) and sees actual words of my impending doom, he will understand.
I love my boys. I am grateful for my boys. I love my hubby and am grateful for him.
In all seriousness though, can I please go take a bubble bath now?
P.S. A glass of wine, some aromatherapy candles, soft music and a good book to enjoy in said bubble bath, would so get you some brownie points-hint, hint 😉