Tag Archive | motherhood

Finding Me

I posted this earlier today on my Facebook page.

“I’m trying to find myself again. I’ve lost sight of who I was over the last 6 years. I’ve been a mom and a wife, but have almost ceased to exist as Amanda.
I’ve missed myself.
I used to wear make up and do my hair before leaving the house. I used to dress nice. I loved my music. I loved being with friends.
Since having children, hair, make up, clothes, music, people outside my immediate circle, have all fallen to the sidelines.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and a wife and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I also loved being me.
So, here I am, re-emerging little by little.”

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I got much more of a response than I would have thought. Losing oneself in the role of motherhood is much more commonplace than I thought. It’s definitely easy to do. Going from one task to the next, one day to the next. We give of ourselves unconditionally, no holds barred on a daily basis.

It has taken me a little while to come to terms with this. To be able to admit that I wasn’t wholly myself. I was missing a vital piece of who I was. I didn’t forget, I just got lost. I thought I had to give up on that stuff. I was a mom. Moms don’t dye their hair funky colors, or listen grown up music. Forget nice clothes, unless you are a working mom, they will just get pooed on, peed on, spit up on, a muddy hand print in the middle of your butt.

I was wrong. We can have that balance. We can still be us while taking care of our families. Sure, having beautifully coiffed hair and make-up may not be a daily thing, but I would definitely likely it to happen several times a week. I want to feel good about myself on the outside as well as on the inside. I’m tired of looking frumpy all the time.

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Monsters in the bed

How do you handle night-time monsters?

Munchkin apparently has 2 green ones that like to lurk under the covers and scare him out of sleep in the middle of the night.

Connor's Monsters

I have tried pulling the covers back one by one and showing him there are no monsters there. I gave him a flashlight and told him the monsters don’t like the light. Still he wakes up though and if I am still awake he will join me in the living room and then it takes a while to get him back to sleep. If I am in bed, he will climb into bed with us, this isn’t so bad because he goes right back to sleep.

My Mother-in-law suggested making some Monster Spray with lavender essential oil. I think I will give that a try.

C’est La Vie

Sorry for my absence. Life has been zooming by. I don’t even know how long it has been since my last post. . . .

Did you all have a good Thanksgiving? We did. My mom and her husband came down for a visit. We had dinner at our house, so my in-laws came over as well. I think Munchkin was in his glory, he had all his favorite people under one roof. We took the boys to go see Wreck-It Ralph that Saturday. They did great and it was a cute movie.

I have been working on my WIC peer counselor training the last few weeks. It is exciting. I get to talk about breastfeeding with pregnant mamas. The boys have been spending a lot of time with Grandma as she has been watching them for me while I do the training and when I clean that house once a week. I am very grateful to have her so close. The boys enjoy going over there. Peanut has an easier time with my leaving then Munchkin does. As soon as I get back to bring them home though, Peanut wants his milkies (which he calls “mine”) immediately.

Peanut has been talking up a storm and repeats everything he hears. Luckily he hasn’t repeated any of the less than nice words that have escaped my mouth on occasion. It is cute listening and watching him copy everything his big brother does.

Munchkin is still in the in-between phase where he wants to be a big boy, but whines and cries because he wants you to help him do everything too. It keeps things interesting. 🙂 I love it when he tries out new words he hears and new gestures too. Today he gave me a thumbs up when I asked him if something was good.

On the animal/homestead end of things, we lost two chickens. I am not sure if it was Lily, who I caught eating them, or if it was the neighbor’s dog that Hubby had chased out of the yard when he caught him going after a chicken.

Lily went into heat and we tried to be diligent, but said neighbor’s dog managed to get hold of her and so now we should have puppies around Christmas. *sigh* Not especially happy, but “c’est la vie”

I was telling Munchkin that Lily has babies in her belly so he needs to not be so rough with her. Tonight he was talking about the babies in his belly. He has 5 or 6 of them in there. We are going to be busy 😉

My sister’s rabbit is hilarious. Nothing phases him. He quickly adjusted to the chaos that is our life. He gets free time in the house when the dogs are out. He hops onto the couch, pushes open doors if they aren’t shut tight, steals food off the kid’s table, begs when you are cutting up vegetables. He acts like a one of the dogs or the cats. I got this cute pic of him washing his face. Looks like he is saying “Oh no, what have I done” Bandit

Hello

I figured I would say “Hi” to you all while I wait for my cup of tea to finish steeping. I should be going to bed because sleep has been hard to come by with this stupid cold making the rounds. But, I seem to have a frog in my throat that just doesn’t want to move on. So tea and Hello it is. 🙂

We found Rocky a new home. He is living happily on a farm. He has his own little flock of Barred Rock hens to look after. Before we left the farm I picked up two Australorp pullets. I have no pictures yet because the girls, who we have named Dorothy and Rose, have been a little on the shy side. Yes, we have Blanche, Dorothy, and Rose. We just need a Sophia now.

Today Hubby and I started digging out the drainage culvert that divides the property. It was almost flat in some areas. We got about 40 feet of it cleared out today. There is still a lot more to go though. I am already pretty sore, I am hoping tomorrow won’t be too bad.

Munchkin has been super whiny for the last 24 hours. He hasn’t been able to verbalize why he is feeling so sad or angry. Everything has been setting him off though. I’ve been doing my best to keep my cool, it is hard at moments though. I am hoping tomorrow is a better day for him. I hate to see him having a difficult time.

Peanut started saying “sorry” today. Then when we were having some silly time before bed he started saying “I love you”! It was so sweet. That really made my night.

Blah. My throat is getting scratchier by the moment. I don’t want to be sick again! 😦

Feeling touched out

Yuck.

Today is one of those days where my skin is just crawling and I feel like I can’t get comfortable in my own body. And I don’t want to be touched. I am soooo touched out today.

It has been rainy and gross out since yesterday, so the kids are a little crazy and super clingy. I am being used as a human jungle gym much to my dismay. Peanut of course has already nursed like a million times.

I just want to go hole myself up in the bedroom and take a time out. I desperately need a reprieve today.

Hopefully the boys will nap in the car when we leave in a few to pick up K from work. That will at least give me a little bit of quiet.

Unless Munchkin decides it is one of those days that he needs to throw things and hit Peanut and screech as loud as he can and just make the car ride awful. I really don’t like those days.

How do you handle these kinds of days?