Breath

Breath.
The 4.5 year old is whining and crying because he once again has a fever and feels like crap.
Breath.
The 6.5 year old is running around like a feral cat because it is time to get ready for bed.  Getting ready for bed is obviously the worst possible thing in the world and must be avoided at all costs.
Breath.
The 17 month old is acting like a total goof.  She keeps trying to get the 4.5 year old to play with her, but he feels like crap and keeps screeching in response.
Breath.
I love my children.  I am grateful that they are part of my life.  These moments though, the ones where it feels like I’m in the middle of a riot, overwhelm me. 
I have to take a step back and breath. 
Collect myself. 
Look at the picture from a different angle.
Start the moment over.

Or,  maybe get rescued by my husband when he walks through the door from work.  That works too.

Later tonight,  when they are all  sleeping,  I will gaze at them as they have adventures in their dreams.  Sometimes I get glimpses of those dreams when the boundary between dreamland and reality is blurred. Someone will sit up and mumble about swords,  or bring their hand to their mouth as they snack on something delicious.  I giggle thinking about it.

Tomorrow is a new day.  New discoveries.  New trials.  New inventions.  New frustrations.  The key is learning to work through it all together.  Learning to communicate effectively with one another. Someday that will happen,  maybe. 

Disappointed

I started school last month. I know, crazy. I’ve only been out of school for, well, too many years.
Okay, okay. It’s been 15 years.
Being in school means homework, studying, writing papers. The usual stuff.
I have a paper that needs completing by next Tuesday and two tests this Thursday.
Of course this means that bedtime needs to take an excruciatingly long time tonight. I’ve been going at it for two hours now. Logan is asleep. He is generally pretty quick about it. Jeff got Connor to bed, so that wasn’t an issue. Lyla has decided that sleep isn’t really necessary tonight.
It is though. She needs to sleep so I can get some work done.
You hear that Lyla? Sleep. Please.

Also? Amazon said there would be packages today. Guess what? I did not get said packages. I am disappointed.

Finding Me

I posted this earlier today on my Facebook page.

“I’m trying to find myself again. I’ve lost sight of who I was over the last 6 years. I’ve been a mom and a wife, but have almost ceased to exist as Amanda.
I’ve missed myself.
I used to wear make up and do my hair before leaving the house. I used to dress nice. I loved my music. I loved being with friends.
Since having children, hair, make up, clothes, music, people outside my immediate circle, have all fallen to the sidelines.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and a wife and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I also loved being me.
So, here I am, re-emerging little by little.”

I got much more of a response than I would have thought. Losing oneself in the role of motherhood is much more commonplace than I thought. It’s definitely easy to do. Going from one task to the next, one day to the next. We give of ourselves unconditionally, no holds barred on a daily basis.

It has taken me a little while to come to terms with this. To be able to admit that I wasn’t wholly myself. I was missing a vital piece of who I was. I didn’t forget, I just got lost. I thought I had to give up on that stuff. I was a mom. Moms don’t dye their hair funky colors, or listen grown up music. Forget nice clothes, unless you are a working mom, they will just get pooed on, peed on, spit up on, a muddy hand print in the middle of your butt.

I was wrong. We can have that balance. We can still be us while taking care of our families. Sure, having beautifully coiffed hair and make-up may not be a daily thing, but I would definitely likely it to happen several times a week. I want to feel good about myself on the outside as well as on the inside. I’m tired of looking frumpy all the time.

Lying here

I’m lying here,
In the hotel bed.
Squished Snuggled between two of my children.
I’m so incredibly tired,
I should be sleeping.
Instead, I relish in the quiet.
The only sounds are the fan,
And the quiet breathing of my littles.
I should be sleeping,
But the quiet is so enjoyable.

Hello World!

Boy, I am not doing so good with the blogging lately.

I was gone, I came back, I disappeared again. I am going to attempt to come back again 🙂

I think it has been about 4 months since my last post. 

Since that time I have officially become a La Leche League leader. A became a Child Passenger Safety Technician (CPST). I attended a training program to become a trainer for the NorthEast Mississippi Birthing Project’s community doula/breastfeeding peer counselor program. 

And, discovered we will be expecting our 3rd baby the beginning of February! We will be having another homebirth. Munchkin is insisting that this one will be a little girl. I guess we will find out when the little bean joins us 🙂

The boys are growing in leaps and bounds.

Peanut uses full sentences and finally decided it was worth it to learn to open doors, turn light switches on and off, open the refrigerator, and attempt to use the remote control. 

Munchkin is riding his “motorcycle” super fast all over the backyard. Please refrain from calling it a bike, he gets very upset about this 😉 He got to go fishing for the first time this past weekend and caught a fish, very proud moment.  He is working on writing and remembering his letters. He can type his name out on the computer and recognizes it when he sees it. We got him his own kitten. He named him Dragon and he is about 6 months old now. 

K took in a kitten as well. Some people found him when his mama got hit by a car and they were leaving on vacation. So she volunteered to care for him and he is now a permanent fixture. He is between 7 and 8 weeks old and is named Garfield. 

We processed our Cornish Rocks. Our turkeys are huge. The ducks went to Grandma and Grandpa’s house this weekend because they have a pond. All the other critters are doing well. I have 4 chickens sitting on eggs right now.

My garden got neglected due to having no energy because of the baby, but that is ok.

We found Lily a home. Now we need to find Gypsy a home. She does not appear to have any pyrenees in her and we really need a working dog, not another pet. . . 

Well, I think that is enough information to clog your brain for now 😉 Hopefully I will be able to keep up with the blogging again.

 

Back from hiatus

This gallery contains 16 photos.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas (I know it’s a little late) and Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope everyone’s Christmas (or to be PC, holiday) was a good one.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We were pretty busy. We had the boy’s birthday/Christmas party. Munchkin just turned 4 on the 23rd and Peanut turned 2 today. Where in the world does the time go? I know, I know. Horribly cliché, but it is true! My babies are growing up way too fast.

My mom and her husband came down and stayed the week with us. It was great to see them, but I am glad to have the house back to normal. Well, sort of normal.

The sort of normal is because Lily had her puppies. Labor started the day my mom came (the 21st). She had her first pup about 9pm and the last one between 2 & 2:30am  on the 22nd. She had 9 puppies,  8 of them live. That’s a lot of puppies. They are very cute, but all I can envision is 8 crazy puppies destroying my house. . . . Luckily, we will have help from the local rescue with placing them in homes. That takes a huge weight off of my shoulders. I am guessing you would like to see some pictures? I suppose I can do that 🙂

Newborn puppies

 

A kiss for mama

 

Puppies today at 10 days old

 

 

That brings us to now. New Year’s Eve. I don’t do very much anymore. Mainly just sit on the couch. Maybe have a beer. Watch something on Hulu or Netflix. I am happy with that though.

I am not really sure what I expect from 2013. My goals for this year didn’t get fully accomplished, but I have been headed in the right direction. So I guess I will just keep at those goals and whatever else happens is an added bonus 🙂

I hope you all have fun celebrating the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013.

What are your expectations for this new year?

 

Monsters in the bed

How do you handle night-time monsters?

Munchkin apparently has 2 green ones that like to lurk under the covers and scare him out of sleep in the middle of the night.

I have tried pulling the covers back one by one and showing him there are no monsters there. I gave him a flashlight and told him the monsters don’t like the light. Still he wakes up though and if I am still awake he will join me in the living room and then it takes a while to get him back to sleep. If I am in bed, he will climb into bed with us, this isn’t so bad because he goes right back to sleep.

My Mother-in-law suggested making some Monster Spray with lavender essential oil. I think I will give that a try.

Xlear Sparx Candy

I recently had the opportunity to review Xlear Sparx candy thanks to the Moms Meet program.

Xlear is a company that started up in 2000. They deal with all things Xylitol related. Pretty cool stuff. They make these awesome candies, toothpaste, a nasal spray, and even xylitol crystals that you can use as a sugar substitute. You can check out their products here.

I had never heard of Xlear prior to trying out the Sparx candy, but they seem pretty cool.

We got to try the citrus flavor and the fruit flavor. Both were tasty, but I think the citrus was the bigger hit in our house. Both of the boys really liked them and so did K. They hit the spot when we needed a quick sweet fix. The added bonus is that xylitol is good for your teeth, so not only do you get your sweet fix, but you help your teeth at the same time. Score!

Wait. What? Candy that is good for your teeth? Yup! Xylitol actually helps prevent bacteria from sticking to your teeth and it helps keep the Ph levels in your mouth where they should be. It also has a low glycemic index.

I’d definitely recommend trying the candies. They come in a cute little plastic container. They are bite size, so no melty mess. If you don’t have time to brush after a meal, pop in a few of these tiny, tasty, candies and you’re good to go. That happy mouth part is the real seller for me.

Sparx candies come in 3 flavors, Citrus, Berry, and Fruit and they retail for $1.49 a tube.

You can check out their website here or you can visit them on Facebook here.

 

 

*Disclaimer: I received this product for free from the sponsor of the Moms Meet program, May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms Meet blogger, I agreed to use this product and post my opinion on my blog. My opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinions of May Media Group LLC or the manufacturer of the product.

C’est La Vie

Sorry for my absence. Life has been zooming by. I don’t even know how long it has been since my last post. . . .

Did you all have a good Thanksgiving? We did. My mom and her husband came down for a visit. We had dinner at our house, so my in-laws came over as well. I think Munchkin was in his glory, he had all his favorite people under one roof. We took the boys to go see Wreck-It Ralph that Saturday. They did great and it was a cute movie.

I have been working on my WIC peer counselor training the last few weeks. It is exciting. I get to talk about breastfeeding with pregnant mamas. The boys have been spending a lot of time with Grandma as she has been watching them for me while I do the training and when I clean that house once a week. I am very grateful to have her so close. The boys enjoy going over there. Peanut has an easier time with my leaving then Munchkin does. As soon as I get back to bring them home though, Peanut wants his milkies (which he calls “mine”) immediately.

Peanut has been talking up a storm and repeats everything he hears. Luckily he hasn’t repeated any of the less than nice words that have escaped my mouth on occasion. It is cute listening and watching him copy everything his big brother does.

Munchkin is still in the in-between phase where he wants to be a big boy, but whines and cries because he wants you to help him do everything too. It keeps things interesting. 🙂 I love it when he tries out new words he hears and new gestures too. Today he gave me a thumbs up when I asked him if something was good.

On the animal/homestead end of things, we lost two chickens. I am not sure if it was Lily, who I caught eating them, or if it was the neighbor’s dog that Hubby had chased out of the yard when he caught him going after a chicken.

Lily went into heat and we tried to be diligent, but said neighbor’s dog managed to get hold of her and so now we should have puppies around Christmas. *sigh* Not especially happy, but “c’est la vie”

I was telling Munchkin that Lily has babies in her belly so he needs to not be so rough with her. Tonight he was talking about the babies in his belly. He has 5 or 6 of them in there. We are going to be busy 😉

My sister’s rabbit is hilarious. Nothing phases him. He quickly adjusted to the chaos that is our life. He gets free time in the house when the dogs are out. He hops onto the couch, pushes open doors if they aren’t shut tight, steals food off the kid’s table, begs when you are cutting up vegetables. He acts like a one of the dogs or the cats. I got this cute pic of him washing his face. Looks like he is saying “Oh no, what have I done”